I get so many requests to get together with someone who is invariably from overseas. Why? 'Tis fairly obvious that they covet the one thing I have they want. What's that you say? My fabulous body? My super-model beauty? No, friends and neighbors, even better…my nationality! Dat's wight, wabbit…all these men covet me for my fabulously beautiful U.S. citizenship.

Ahem..anyway..So I say, turnabout is fair play. So I hereby make the offer. If anyone of British nationality would like to get together and exchange meaningless vows in order to possess dual nationality, feel free to let me know. I would be absolutely giddy to fake a marriage with someone who may not be able to stand the sight of me in order to get me what I want the most..British citizenship. The romance of it all leaves me breathless.